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What don't the Kroll's excel at? Comedy is the answer

The Krolls excel at absolutely everything, but comedy. What a fuck. ( The firm hired to audit the DNC Bernie Sanders Data Breach)

Update - December 28th, 2015

It has come to my exasperated attention that Kroll has been brought in to audit some alleged breach of data. Hired by the DNC through Debbie Wasserman Shultz.

From this link:http://littlesis.org/relationship/view/id/679278

Jules B Kroll gave money to Democratic National Committee 

Details
TypeCampaign Contribution
Start date1992
End date2012
Amount$7,500


Contributions
This relationship is based on the following campaign contributions reported by the Federal Elections Commission
DATEAMOUNTFEC IDLINK
Oct 26 '12$2,500
Nov 20 '00$2,50020036581595Source
May 17 '93$1,50093038413031Source
Jul 23 '92$1,00092037744717Source

 To my surprise, for once, others seem to regard this as FISHY. For the last two years(since I discovered that Nick Kroll was the ringmaster to my decimation it has seemed that no one realized who this Kroll was or what they represent,)

Regarding all I figured out about Jules Kroll- due to the discovery of Nick Kroll in my various nightmarish legal cases - I have concluded that only Bernie Sanders can be the President.

I was always incredibly apolitical. In 2008, I wanted Hillary Clinton to win against Obama. But, I knew almost nothing about politics, policy etc. Just not my thing.

But, this year, when I knew the elections were approaching I felt a sense of great dread... I knew vaguely that Hillary Clinton had connections to Kroll. And, I am convinced that Kroll represents a huge evil in our midst and then those who align with them are not kosher characters.

A mix of facts and a strong gut feeling made me feel extremely depressed at the prospect of Hillary for president.
I started watching Bernie Sanders, and shortly in I began seeing him as a savior or sorts. When his candidacy was looking more and more viable- I began to cheer up since I need hope very badly, and the fact that we wouldn't be stuck with a Kroll connected president

This week, I saw something on CNN about a data breach. Then discussion about an independent auditor to be brought in to investigate... My first thought, of course, was " Oh no it better not be Kroll."

One small google search, and KROLL...

It really chaps my ass that Kroll WILL sabotage any change of Bernie winning. It really chaps my chapped ass that the only presidential candidate who can bring change to this very sick country - is now doomed by the KROLL.

On a very basic level, Kroll charges a lot of money and does not get their work done on time. Here's another Sanders who can bear that out.

http://www.voiceofsandiego.org/topics/government/sanders-claims-city-hostage-to-audit-committee/


The original blog post

I despise the word "awesome' in a way that seems out of step with the rest of society, but the word awesome really applies when I think of the Krolls, and their empire of expertise!

Shock and awe, to be more specific.

The Kroll empire is living proof that the jack of all trades concept is false, and that multi-tasking is a good thing.

Kroll is Number 1 in data recovery . In the world, mind you.

 http://www.kroll.com/other-kroll-companies/kroll-ontrack/

Top of the heap when it comes to Background checks for business, government, commerce, colleges, prep schools. They vetted Snowden and the Navy Shooter, for what that's worth.

Number 1 in security for the presidents and tons and tons of VIP's.  The industry leader in Risk Mitigation. Not just the industry leader, but the global leaders too according to one of their many websites.

Risk assessment too! Number 1 in Threat Management. Need a threat managed as risks are assesed? Kroll will assess it, and then mitigate the threat that they assess risk to your assets and any compromised reputation. King of the hill when it comes to risk analysis as well. You will feel risk free, for heavens sake, as they aspire to be number ONE  in credit and bond rating, on the side.

Even  if it's a legal threat- i.e facing a lawsuit, or facing some first amendment speech that isn't favorable to you- Kroll to the rescue. What does to the rescue mean? 


Well, it means that the legal means someone might take against a guilty party, or has taken already will be turned into a criminal matter.  Say someone sues someone for slander, or writes true statements on a blog that is unfavorable to a Kroll friend or client?

In layman's terms: You have fucked with the wrong people. Nick Kroll's dad is a bad ass Billionaire it says online, but that isn't close to half of the story. Kroll has got tons of dirty cops and prosecutors on board to make you regret ever wanting any redress for your fucking grievances, bitch.  Your grievances are MOOT when Kroll is retained, yo. OMG. WTF. S.O.S!

I learned this four years after the fact, but Ian Puddick, from London, was actually given a fair(fair used very loosely) warning when Ben Hamilton of Kroll , In London, said this to him in an anonymous phone call(later in discovery Hamilton admitted to it,)

https://wikispooks.com/wiki/Ian_Puddick

From the  Wikispooks article: 

you have no idea who you're fucking with, we have deep, deep pockets and we will fuck you like you have never been fucked before." He did not know it at the time, but among the documents provided by the court discovery process in October 2009 was a statement by Kroll Associates UK Ltd Managing Director Ben Hamilton which, paraphrased says: "I got a clean phone, called Puddick and told him you have no idea who we are, we have deep deep pockets .." - No foul language mentioned - naturally - but enough to positively identify the caller beyond reasonable doubt.


July 2009: Mr Haynes complains to Sussex police (the county of his domicile) that his clients have been contacted by Ian who has slandered him (note: NOT "threatened his clients"). Sussex police decline to get involved as they believe the issue to be civil not criminal. They also note that if they did prosecute, Mr Haynes would likely not turn up in court.

 

Eyewitness account of a Kroll Fuck


I can attest that Kroll will fuck you like you never have been fucked before. A Kroll cluster fuck will be the most memorable fuck of your life. Kroll is top dog in fucking, for sure.

You will get FUCKED for or suing a slandering psychopath named "tig" notaro. Kroll will insert themselves, and fuck you so hard and so long. Committing a crime is not a prerequisite- to get the force of the state and city and county(and who knows who else)  to make you feel as fucked (over) as it gets. A massive spiritual, financial, and reputational gang rape, to be more specific.

You will do so much time- with no crime, if Kroll wants it that way. It's that simple. Kroll has got it covered!

The fucking will be without a condom, of course, and they will fuck you for five years straight, with no respite, and no end in sight. This Fucking will make you feel as if they gave you AIDS, and it will give you    PTSD,and it will lead to the loss of any sense of security or peace of mind, as you baste in a destitute state of  indigence, outrage, suspense and misery. In short, whatta fuck.

Because that's how Kroll rolls -- when they fuck you, fellas and ladies. So many cliches come to life as you are dragged through the mud, taken to the the cleaners, taken for a ride....as they wait for you to scream UNCLE.

You don't scream uncle, and Kroll will introduce you to dirtier things you don't deserve to know about-- like TMU and MEU  and Lynwood and 9 strip searches,and Marty Singers, and Allison Hart's and Maria Strattons, and Kaushal Sharmas, and injustice after injustice, up the ASS, and tons of bunkies and Bailiffss and  potato chips you can only get in Commissary....

You learn of so many ex partes that no one will invite you to, and you become an expert in Void judgements and Mens rea, and the competency laws they subverted, as a last resort.

Richard Chang and Officer Jacqueline Montalvo are not here to tell you how these fuckers will fuck you, because Kroll killed them. That's some serious fucking,


Let's not sound critical and  let's stop with the fucking analogies (because I hate any kind of crudeness. )  Let's focus on their astounding successes:


Premier name in security to courthouses and awesome buildings such as the WTC and Sears Towers and to movie studios and TV studios too. The number 1 name in celebrity security and asset protection too.


The leading name in asset recovery and litigation support.  Numero uno in supplying Humvees to wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.  No 1 in armament to law enforcement ALL OVER THE GLOBE, and no. 1 in cyber security and forensic testing and forensic accounting and No 1 in surveillance.

And, let's not forget their famous global fraud reports. The only Kroll venture that is not number 1 by any stretch of the imagination is Nick Kroll's "Kroll Show," but they can make it look like a hit with their Number 1 way to bribe journalists all over the Globe.

Recently, they became the masters of "reputation recovery." 


KROLL WILL RECOVER YOUR REPUTATION! ?


How will they do that? By destroying the reputation of your detractor. If they don't find any dirt, they will make it up. That is where they become dangerous as hell. They will doom your detractor. That is how number 1 they are.
 .
I sure do need their services, but Nick Kroll made sure that my reputation will be as hard to recover as ... I don't know... The Malaysian Plane or the data on the hard drives of ....

to be cont'd -because Kroll is number one in ever MORE!

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