The ballad of a lonely armchair diagnostician He was a beautiful boy I fell in love, such joy. Ah the day we first kissed How could I have missed That he's a narcissist? I couldn't stop smiling Oh the feelings were so fine Actually, he is comorbid- Narcissist with Borderline I loved him and and he loved me But that's not what I learned in therapy My therapist referred to the DSM and told me that my knight in shining is armor is super toxic I'm starting to suspect that she's histrionic Her office is always so crammed Is she simply a hoarder or is it a cluster B disorder? Should I get a restraining order? I got rid of both of them And now spend most of my evenings ,alone diagnosing diagnosing with my newest copy of the DSM.