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Some prescient pig poetry for a change of pace

 

The pig's possibility

The pig woke up one day with a yellowed B.A.
And, a job where she had to fold clothes every day.

Her hooves were aching and
her heart was breaking.
Our pig felt that she should be more
than a folder in a store.

 Sowicide came to  mind.
But, she vowed to fight some more.
She was a refined porcine
who couldn't afford to be so poor.

The customer requesting a baby tee
broke her from her reverie.
Her pen had a landlard
and rent was now overdue.
The pig decided she'd have to call her lone connection, Lou.

Lou had used his college degree properly
and now owned
his own temp agency.

Damn, she thought I don’t want to fold clothes or type
I deserve to be on a throne!
But the throne wasn’t forthcoming
So she picked up the phone.

"Hey, Lou what's up. I need a better job real bad."
"I’ll be at the pond," said Lou.
You see, Lou was a frog,
and conducted business from a lily pad.

Lou greeted her with tales of success and other assorted hype
He never once uttered Ribbit Ribbit-
That, you see, is just a stereotype.

The frog got her a decent gig,
to begin the next day.
“Ah-ha,” our now gainfully employed pig,
didn't even need a resume.

That night, she set out her work clothes-
which included pantyhose.
At  times like this,
she wished she had toes.

It seems necessary to tell the tale:
hooves cause damage to stockings
that have caused many a pig to wail.

Next Morning
The alarm went off and the pig
pushed the snooze button.
At times like this – she wished she was mutton.
Mutton slept late and
never felt blue.
They actually bragged about the fact
That they were only good for stew.

But she born a sophisticated swine,
forced to join this rank rat race...
Ah, such dark thoughts
were just cutting off her snout to spite her face.

Verna, her (heifer) neighbor, had earned her keep by stripping.
But, our hog couldn’t stop the salad days by undressing.
Being a refined porcine, at such times
felt like a curse, not a blessing.

On the way, she passed the mutton’s slum.
She felt sure that her day would never come.

Our valiant swine showed up on time.
And, that will conclude 
this particular pig's rhyme.

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