In publishing, there is a fascinating history of memoirs that get pulled from publication after an eagle-eyed reader or readers, have their hinky meter go off.
The pesky peruser finds the facts or spots the substantial inconsistencies — that ultimately prove that the orphaned foster child (who supposedly grew up in a gang-infested barrio in east L.A) is actually a private school kid from Newport Beach.
Then there was that Jordanian on the run, after witnessing her best friend’s honor killing, who was actually a con artist from Illinois.
And so on.
I now know of one that you won’t hear about because I’m pretty sure I was the pesky peruser — who made the deal go kaput before publication.
Stef Willen’s manuscript (IRONICALLY titled- Total Loss: An Inventory of Disaster, Theirs and Mine,) was set to go before being pulled days before publication. It had an ISBN number, an editor’s description, and an official publisher's page.
Disclaimer: I knew Stef Willen. I know she is an anti-social schmuck, a narcissistic numbskull, and a sociopathic spinner of tall tales. So, when I heard she got a book deal that was for non-fiction, I thought this will be a doozy but I didn’t expect her to leave such a trail of evidence up on the internet, for all to discover. I’d say she is one lazy liar.
The evidence was up for years actually and no one at Mcsweeneys, The Donald Maas agency, The LA Press club and Atria(Simon and Schuster imprint) seemed to discover the doozies, but I did. I had motive. Motive can be found here:
http://alisablogq.blogspot.com/2017/07/dismissed-in-interests-of-justice.html
It’s a long and convoluted story, so here’s a quick summary as to why I’d suspect Willen of dishonesty issues and why I’d wish upon her ill. You see, she lied and lied about me to comedians and others who could affect my goals and dreams. But that wasn’t enough for her. She lied about me, under oath, to police and prosecutors. Her lies not only made me lose my good name, my good money, and my good peace of mind but my liberty. Serious business.
She got help, but she was (I now understand after many years of thought and the piecing together of evidence)the main instigator. She ruined my life with lies and I wanted to return the favor by using the truth. In this circumstance, I’d discover what she was trying to pass off as truth and show it’s a lie.
Total Loss was scheduled to come out in the summer of 2016. We know this from her Twitter:
It’s actually happening: My column Total Loss is becoming a book! Publication in summer of 2016 by Atria (Simon & Schuster). Thanks to all.
1:50 PM — 6 Nov 2014
The person she perjured herself for even got to promote her personal perjurer in the New York Times before Total Loss’s release.
Tig Notaro: By the Book — The New York Times
https://www.nytimes.com/2016/06/05/books/review/tig-notaro-by-the-book.html
Jun 1, 2016 — I have the luxury of being friends and working with some of the greatest writers out there today, people that truly impress me with their use of words. Always David Sedaris, but also love, love, love author Stef Willen; playwright/screenwriter Kate Robin; journalist/critic Sascha Cohen; and poet Andrea Gibson.
Perjury pays!!!
Then this link made one think it was coming out in January of 2017
Stef Willen is a contributor to This American Life and a semi-regular contributor to McSweeney‘s Internet Tendency, where her award-winning column, Total Loss, also appears. She is currently turning Total Loss into a book slated to be published by Simon & Schuster in January 2017
and then on, January of 2017, a site called, Book Filter
http://bookfilter.com/2016/11/09/total-loss-2/said it was scheduled to come out in August of 2017
- List Price:
- $24.00 (Hardcover)
- Published:
- August 29, 2017
- Publisher:
- Atria Books
- Pages:
- 304
- ISBN 10:
- 1501115286
- ISBN 13:
- 9781501115288
I didn’t copy it and now it’s gone, but sometimes around January of 2017, Simon and Shuster’s official publishing page said it was coming out in August of 2018. A few weeks later, it was changed to August of 2045. A year later, it was changed to January of 2050. Those are not typos, the official publisher page was saying there would be a two-year delay, then a 27-year delay, and then a 34-year delay. Not sure what that was about.
As of today, January 21th 2018, this is what you’ll see if you look up Stef Willen’s Simon and Schuster publishing page:
http://www.simonandschuster.biz/authors/Stef-Willen/507299628
Looking for something?
Sorry, the page you’ve requested has been moved or taken off the site.
So now it’s not a three-month delay, or a year, or two years, or 27 years or a 34-year delay. Now, it’s looking more like never.
What could have gone wrong?
It was a big deal — A first-time author gets an agent and then a book deal with a majorly major publisher and then it gets delayed and delayed till it appears to get totally pulled. What went wrong and why?
Since it’s never been released, I haven’t read Ms.Willen’s book, either the first or final draft, but I would bet anything there is a wealth of untruths or straight out lies in that manuscript, but let’s just stick to the lies, or if we are to be kind - inconsistent statements -found by just using her own words, and good old Google.
Let’s take a look at what she says about her jobs in just the Mcsweeneys column. It was a 19 part column. And by all indications, Willen, forgets the lies she’s dropped just a few parts previous to the coming ones.
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/column-19-im-here
I spent two years, working on a popular reality show. I made my way up from a lowly Production Assistant to an Associate Producer, but I quit the day Deb from clearance started decorating the office window with Halloween decals a month in advance. It wasn’t the fact she was covering up our only natural light source with pumpkins that felt so suffocating, it was the sudden realization that there was no light at this job for me. I didn’t want to become a producer.
Note: So rose to associate producer but quit cause didn’t want to be producer cause no light and a Deb getting on our fabulist’s oops I mean heroine’s nerves. Rather work as a loss specialist or as an assistant to Amy Alkon(who she despised.)????
Let us flash back to 10 columns before:
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/column-9-the-balloon-bottom-epoch
Five years earlier, I was working on a popular reality show.
Before the holiday break, the executive producer pulled me into his office and said to call him in January because he was moving to another show and wanted to bring me with him and make me a producer. I bragged about it to family and friends. I think I even bought a blazer. When I was back in Los Angeles, I called him but the line got all fuzzy when he answered.
“Hello? Hello?” He’d said. “HELL-O-O-O? Who is this?”
I told him it was me several times then hung up, and feeling nervous and embarrassed, waited a week before I rang him again. I called him from a laundromat because it seemed less scary to crowd the phone call with the sounds of strangers instead of the silence of my apartment and hope.
“Hi Todd, it’s me…”
“Hello? Who? I can’t hear you. Hello?”
The line crackled and got fuzzy, so I hung up and never called him again. I convinced myself he had changed his mind about me. But quite possibly the only reason I’m not a reality TV producer right now is because of bad phone reception. I think I’d hate being a reality producer, though. I’d rather have the freedom to document people’s lives as I see them instead of getting network notes to cut and paste their thoughts, splice their boring humanity with B roll footage of them doing something dramatic.
So now she didn’t quit. Instead, now it’s that head honcho, Todd, noticed that same specialness that attracted that talent manager and agent. Wanted to make her a producer. She naturally wanted it badly. Pursued it but in the 21st century, she is met with epically bad phone reception???? First, she hangs up on poor Todd. A week later is met by crackling phone lines and poor Todd wondering if she’s some phony phone caller. Who is this? Who is this he plaintively wailed as she sat in a laundromat?
Why not try a third call or just resort to e-mail is a good question to ask. Why no one caught the huge change of story is another good question since it was in the same column!
Mcsweeney’s didn’t catch it. Simon and Schuster didn’t and probably wouldn’t…..How the hell did Mcsweeneys not catch this?
Her acting career
http://emfilm.blogspot.com/2009/03/cast.html for an independent film(EM)
While attending the University of Colorado, she obtained a more demanding role when her roommate asked her to be the lead in her senior thesis short film. In 2001, Stef graduated magna cum laude with a B.A. in anthropology and biology. She was planning on going to Africa to study apes or dig for ancestral humans, but her film was seen by a talent manager in Los Angeles who encouraged her to pursue acting. Stef moved to Denver and studied acting with Brian McCulley. Shortly thereafter, she was signed by an agent and moved to Los Angeles in 2003. There, she studied acting with Nina Kether Axelrod and improv at the Groundlings and ACME Comedy Theatre. She has since starred in many short films and works as an editor to a syndicated columnist.
Ok, so here it’s after being spotted in a student thesis film, a talent manager suggests she take acting seriously and Stef Willen doesn’t pass up on such a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. A talent manager in Boulder, Colorado in charge of watching Student thesis films (we must presume,) has spotted something very special in our budding fabulist oops I mean… thespian. Fuck the Phi Beta Kappa in fossils, you’re such a star, Stephanie!
Get thee to Hollywood but first get thee to Denver. In Denver, she gets training of all sorts with a guy named Brian. Shortly thereafter, she is signed by an agent in Denver, we can presume. Then moves to L.A with an agent from either Denver or L.A? Not clear which but according to her she takes more classes, hones the craft, etc.
As of 2009, when this bio for EM was posted, she is claiming that not only is she starring in a full-length indie film but has since starred in many short films.
This is another lie. Any google search or IMDB check will show that in fact, Stef Willen, till that point, and till now(2018) has starred in one short film (A Lesbian short called, “Long Ago.” A short made by her friend, Christy Wegener.)
How did Willen characterize her acting trajectory in that Mscweeney’s column, that was supposed to have been turned into a book?
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/column-19-im-here
So I didn’t really decide anything for myself. Someone said I should take an acting class. I did. I got signed by an agent in L.A. and she said I should move there. And I did.
(Ah, so it was an L.A agent in Denver that told her to “move there.” And once there she got one who lived in Denver?) OK!
Someone said to take class. Did. Got signed by agent in Denver who lived in L.A. Agent said move there. Did.
No Denver. No talent manager discovering her. Who forgets such milestone moments?
How she described it on her Website:
http://www.stefwillen.com/about/
After taking one acting class in college, she moved to Los Angeles to be an actress
Note: What happened to that talent manager and agent story? Now it’s a whole different narrative- one class in college.
What does it say in the official editor's description? As found here:
http://bookfilter.com/2016/11/09/total-loss-2/
Her dreams of a Nobel prize-winning career in paleoanthropology had been derailed in college by emotional turmoil and addiction, and after taking just one post-grad acting class, she made the grossly naïve decision to conquer Hollywood.
(So now it’s pretty much deranged levels of recklessness after taking a class AFTER college. Sans the agent, classes, talent managers mentioned in other bios, she moves to L.A to be a seek fame and fortune after one single class in college or was in post-grad?)
Now there’s no agent, no talent manager, no thesis, and not even a college course. Now in the editor’s description, it’s one POST grad acting class. Grossly Naive is how some person in charge of writing bios for Simon and Schuster put it.
This American Life, indeed.
More fabulistic madness ensues — Willen got a spot on NPR’s This American Life. I won’t get into how she got it, but it can be found in that link above. You can even tell that Ira Glass doesn’t believe a word she is saying, since the story is ridiculous on its face.
Notes- if you keep reading the This American Life thing below:
She tells Glass she was a lowly P.A who emptied trash cans. Bunch of reality shows now!!!!!!! This nutjob keeps pluralizing the singular. She never tells Glass that poignant story of how her boss lost touch with her due solely to bad reception. She tells him that she never rose above a lowly P.A. No mention of being a uh Associate producer or how Todd was eyeing for a producer role.
https://www.thisamericanlife.org/385/transcript
Ira Glass. Act 4, Underling Gets An Underling. This is the story of somebody in a job that sounds like the kind of thing that would be, sort of, exciting.
Stef Willen worked on a bunch of reality TV shows, but
she was a production assistant, a PA, which is the lowest rung on the ladder. She did a lot of emptying trash cans.
Me talking: I’m just noticing the many reality shows lie and how she was telling him she never rose past lowly P.A now. Unreal. How the hell did she get away with this shit for so long?
Underling Gets An Underling.
Stef Willen
I remember running around town with the weirdest lists of stuff to get, like toilet paper with a specific pattern on it. I’ve had one boss, she would do things like ask me to hang curtains in her office. And I was like, “Oh, but your wall is made of concrete.” And she was like, “Oh, you can do it.” You know? Stuff like that. I would be given these bizarre tasks, and if you didn’t do them right, there was always this sense of are you stupid?
Ira Glass
And so the way I understand it is that towards the end you came up with a plan. Can I ask you to just describe the plan that you came up with?
Stef Willen
I just thought it would be hilarious if I came in the next day with an eager young person who was my production assistant.
Ira Glass
Oh. So you would be a PA and you would have your own PA.
Stef Willen
Exactly. Which is really unnecessary. It’s a gopher with a gopher, so I don’t know. I wanted to make a point. It’d just be like a little sweet revenge, you know?
Ira Glass
Right.
Stef Willen
I don’t know.
Ira Glass
No. No. I understand. You’d be upsetting the natural order.
Stef Willen
Right. Totally. It’s like, if you can get someone under you, it’s simple math, but you are not at the bottom. I just knew that I was somehow taking control over what was happening in my life if I could put someone just right under me.
Ira Glass
So, OK. So you’re a PA hiring a PA. How’d you go about it?
Stef Willen
I wrote up a Craigslist seeking a production assistant on a popular reality TV show. For the ability, I said must possess a medium work ethic, the ability to take out trash, and then sit for hours and work for free. And 21 people responded. 21 people. I was amazed.
I ended up going with this guy, I’ll call him Adam. It was interesting, I hired him because I actually felt like he might be slightly delinquent. When we had our, quote, unquote, “interview,” he never turned down his car radio. And it was that kind of thing. And I’m like, OK. Well, we’re going to meet at the coffee shop and we’re going to drive to set. “OK.” I’m like, “Do you want to get out a pen and a paper and write this down?” “Oh, OK.”
Ira Glass
Oh, wow. So he’s really a real beginner. Like, he really was not necessarily ready for the responsibility of a —
Stef Willen
Of a phone conversation.
Ira Glass
Yeah. Or a job.
Stef Willen
Yeah. I met him at a coffee shop. And he was this nice looking young guy. And he was wearing this argyle sweater and this scarf and a beret. And I was like, “Oh, my gosh. What did I just do?”
Ira Glass
A beret?
Stef Willen
A beret. Yeah. He followed me in his car to set, and I was getting a little nervous because I actually hadn’t planned anything past this point. The first person we see is the line producer, and she was frantic, as always. You know, “Come on. Come on. We’ve got a big day. We’ve got to get going.” And I said, “Oh, well you’ll be glad to know I have some help. This is Adam, and he is my production assistant for today.” And she just sort of stopped and looked at me. And she goes, “Well, good. We need the extra help.” And there was no Stef is a genius. Or, oh look what Steff did. It was, literally, like oh, thank you. Oh, we need the help. How did you get him to work for free?
Ira Glass
And so you did introduce him to your bosses?
Stef Willen
Yeah. I introduced him to everybody. I mean, I don’t know why I thought that they would learn something from it, but I totally underestimated I guess, the joke, but also their need for workers. They were in production mode. They’re not stopping to look at what I’m trying to say. They’re like, OK. Well, we’re 10 minutes behind. We can use Adam over here in hair and makeup.
Ira Glass
So you were hoping that they would get the lesson of, you see, this whole system you have is so arbitrary? And, we’re not just cogs in a machine. Like, I could be a boss. And the lesson they took was not only are you all cogs in a machine, but you’re such a cog, we can’t even see that you’re talking. Like you’re not even an animal making noise here. Like, OK. Now, hand me that other animal over there.
Stef Willen
Yeah. Exactly. It’s like, oh, two cogs for one. Awesome. We’ll take this one, you know? I went from his boss to his sidekick to, I don’t know, his buddy? I’d be like, oh, I got this trash can. So it would be really gross and disgusting, and I’m like, oh, I don’t want to mess up his scarf. I made sure he ate first. Like, he got his lunch before me.
At one point, we were all sitting around the table. We’d been sitting staring at each other for about two hours, because they were filming, with nothing to do. And I looked over at Adam, and he had taken his beret off and it was on his knee. And he was, sort of, slouched down, and he was moving M&M’s across his plate, one by one, with his index finger. And I think he said, “I have never not done anything for this long a time.” And I was like, “Well, you know, it did say in my ad the ability to sit for hours.” And he laughed.
But shortly after, I told him to go. I was like, “Well, you know, you did a great job today. Definitely send me your resume.” He kept in touch, like, he would email, do you know so-and-so? Or just little questions, you know? And then, at one point, he stopped asking me questions. And I got this text from him at 8:26 AM, and it said, “I want you.” Period. “I want your body.” Period. “Right now.” Period. And I was like, OK.
Ira Glass
What did that say to you?
Stef Willen
That he had not taken me seriously at all.
Ira Glass
So you got him into your life because nobody else took you seriously, and then even he doesn’t take you seriously.
Stef Willen
Right. It just, sort of, made me laugh. I thought, OK. Well, he wants my body right now, which, 8:26 AM, that wasn’t a good time for me.
Ira Glass
Stef Willen, she has quit her PA jobs. She starred in the independent film, M, which won last year’s Seattle International Film Festival, and she’s writing a book.
It’s overkill at this point, but some notes on this segment:
NUMBER 1. There was no Adam and no beret! OMG
It’s now many reality shows she is claiming. When I knew her she hinted at one show and having a lowly position there. She never went into detail so I assumed it wasn’t a show I might know.
Also, none of this reads as remotely realistic or true, in general. Not just cause it has the ring of untruth, but because if you knew Willen she just is no prankster. She would never engage in the kinds of shenanigans she describes to Ira Glass or in her Mcweeney’s column. And, what kind of story is she telling Ira Glass?
Some down on her luck egotist feels shitty about her lot in life so exploits some poor sod named Adam by wasting his damned time and giving him false hope? And he, of course, is wearing wacky garb such as beret and scarf? She’s pulling this stunt just so this psycho can feel good about herself? And years after the fact, she forgets the associate producer story, and the fatefully bad phone reception that killed her chances at being producer lie. C’mon now.
So much in that Mcsweeney’s column also rings so false. I could show that in spades, but I just hope there is no longer a need to.
This part in that piece does, however, ring true to the kind of sick puppy that I saw in action.
Ira Glass
No. No. I understand. You’d be upsetting the natural order
Willen: Right. Totally. It’s like, if you can get someone under you, it’s simple math, but you are not at the bottom. I just knew that I was somehow taking control over what was happening in my life if I could put someone just right under me.
Hmmm some self-awareness of her sociopathy? Now, that is perhaps why she did what she did to me… hmmmm
http://alisablogq.blogspot.com/2017/07/dismissed-in-interests-of-justice.html
Update as of today(April 24 2018) If you google Willen’s name there is absolutely no sign she ever had a book deal with Simon and Schuster. Someone had to go in their system, in the last month, and erase megabytes( or whatever you’d have to erase in this case)- so their association with her would be nearly impossible to know about. All Amazon links to her book only bring up a SORRY and a pic of a sad dog. If that dog knew the whole story, he’d be one smiling pup. So what’s next for Stef Willen AKA the sleazy scribe: A book titled, The perils of perjury? The pitfalls for false accusation. We shall see.
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